Friends (cont.)

Do you ever get the feeling that your friends have left you out of the group? Like they forget about you and you're feeling disappointed and mad about them seeming to forget about you?

You wonder why they didn't happen to give you a ring and say "hey come hangout" or something along those lines? Then, you begin to wonder if they consider you a friend or a convenience?

This has bothered me for the longest time, but with all delicate situations you can't just blurt out saying what's on your mind....well, you could but it won't necessarily fix anything. I find it hard to address this issue with other friends, especially the ones that seem to be acting this way.

Is it some sort of natural experience when seeing your friends hanging out with other friends without your presence? The bad thing is they don't "realize" they are doing it and you get mad at them for supposedly leaving you out of the group. I tell you, even have friends can be a painful experience.

Untitled

It's one of those days in which I don't know if I am really who I really am. I don't understand who I am and what is going on around me. I'm really lost within the realm of myself. I can't really describe the feeling since it's a feeling that cannot be described.

Love has a part in this, although I'm not at all surprised of the outcome. I expected for it to go in a certain way and in turn does not inflict as much damage on my heart compared to if I wasn't prepared. What do I do now? To find out that there is someone else in her life and me not being able to not think of her during the whole school year we were apart.

What if I don't want to move on? What if I want to keep what I think is a good thing to hold onto? But it is still painful and I will probably never understand what love truly is.

I have yet to experience true love. When will that be?

Soon? Later? Never?

In a subject with no title, I am lost in the void that is the emptiness of my heart and soul.

I am not complete.

Friends

Just when you think you know someone, you begin to find out their true nature and alter your views about them. Whether good or bad, something within the years knowing each seems to be thrown off by little details here and there that alter and preconceptions of a person.

For me, the changes that I see are changes that seem like they are to become more of a long-term change. What I am talking about is the distancing of friends. I'm sure most people will experience this at sometime in their life, if they have not already. Old friends tend to distance themselves as new ones join in your life. This probably doesn't seem like much for most people seeing as how we pick up and move on. What happens when you don't want to let go of those friends? It can be a difficult time for yourself, but with your friends not seeing it that way. Makes you wonder if there was something you may have done wrong when in fact it could be true that a friend can indeed be bored with being with you for so long. Much like how a lot of relationships seem to end.

Friends I hold dear to my heart yet it doesn't seem as if that connection is agreed upon by the others.

If there was a way to start life all over again........

Father's Day

What a joyous and momentus day! Ok, not really but it's great when you can sleep in until 4:00 pm :) I guess it was my fault for not sleeping until 4:30 am this morning. Couldn't help it, had fun at my friend Kyle's little gathering.

Well, I'm already set for Father's Day. I feel kinda bad that the only thing I have for my father is a Father's Day card. Considering that I'm a college student and am broke because of it, hopefully I won't be ragged on too bad because of lack of money. I would have really liked to have given my father a digital camera since he would like to get one, but I don't quite have enough money for it. Even if I did, I would then be flat broke again and that isn't fun.

So much for the "joyous and mementus" day.

Pvt. Donut

Bored? Welcome to the club.

I swear, I am going to move out of this town after this fall. I can't believe how unbelievably boring it is to live in this town. I guess It's my fault that I didn't rent an apartment in Ames instead of being stuck down here. Again, I didn't have to work and again I only get paid for 1 hours worth of "work". Although I didn't really feel like working today, I still wanted to work because I need the funds, but the weather has been a bitch lately giving us nothing but colder weather and thunderstorms day after day. It's the funny how things workout, or don't, sometimes.

So here I am. Bored once again with nothing to do but sit here and not get paid for doing it. I actually wouldn't have minded working today since I'm a lifeguard and all we do is pretty much sit up on our chairs and watch people swim, or attempt too :P (Those people are funny to watch). Not saying that I wouldn't help them, but it's kinda funny when an adult can't swim.

Well, I'm running out of things to say. So all I can say is that I'm going to try to post more pictures up, especially when I buy my digital camera.

Beware of some interesting photos.......... hehe :P (nothing pornographic, so don't worry about it).

Possibly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen......*sigh* 

Fire anyone?

Another day in which nothing happened and I didn't have to work.

WAIT! AH HA!
Something DID happen today.

Of course, it's not a good one though. Reason I'm saying this is because one of the largest buildings in town, containing multiple businesses, caught on fire earlier today. The thing was just engulfed in flames and the smoke could be seen for miles.

FINALLY! SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED IN THIS DAMNED BORING TOWN!!!

Obviously, you can tell nothing really happens where I live. This town is called Osceola, and it's one of the most boring town's probably in the nation :P . But, I do sort of like it because I'm a little afraid of the bigger cities because people constantly shot, stabbed, and whatnot.

Anyways! Back to the fire.

So my friend happens to call me on her phone right after the whole mess really started gaining some attention and the funny thing is that she just started working there this summer! Of course, I feel bad that this has to happen to her, but at the same time I'm laughing inside because it just happens to be her luck that the new job that she grabbed is now ummm.....burned to the ground, char-broiled, and all that good stuff.

I wonder what she's going to do now???

Damnit! I have to work!

Well, it's another day, but very very early in the morning and I'm really tired. I can't believe that I have to wake up in about 4 hours to go to work from 9 am to 7 pm! Sorry I'm complaining but I do enjoy sleeping. Yes, It is my fault for the lack of sleep that I will get tonight, but whatever :P. My friend is completely mezmerized by footage on tape taken about 4 four years ago. He can't even remember his own work! Oh well, I guess we can't all be perfect.

Hello There!

Wow! This is my very first post ever on www.blogger.com. So far, it's a pretty cool site and I'm diggin' it. Well, I guess I'd better get started on customizing this place.

Pvt. Donut out!